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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25171420">(not) a quick conversation</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bagell/pseuds/Bagell'>Bagell</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Critical Role (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Empire Kids, Gen, Not Beta Read, Other, Queerplatonic Relationships, queerplatonic veth and caleb</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 06:07:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>830</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25171420</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bagell/pseuds/Bagell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"'You know, you… you asked me, a long time ago, if I was in love with Nott,' Caleb starts."</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>Years later, on a slow day, Caleb revisits a conversation with Beau. It's easier this time.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Beauregard Lionett &amp; Caleb Widogast, Nott | Veth Brenatto &amp; Caleb Widogast</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>54</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>(not) a quick conversation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>is this just me trying to vent how i feel about nott and caleb's relationship through caleb??? yes, yes it is. anyway this is what happens when i watch the 2x71 beach scene too many times</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“You know, you… you asked me, a long time ago, if I was in love with Nott,” Caleb starts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Beau turns slightly on the couch, acknowledging. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I told you that you were tuned into a specific frequency that is… different than mine. And then I said it was not a quick conversation and left.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Beau nods, swirling the drink in her hand. “You know, I gotta admit. When I first asked you that it was to get you out of my room.” Caleb snorts inelegantly at that. “But I do still think about that conversation every now and then.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Ja,</span>
  </em>
  <span> I, I think,” Caleb stops, hums. “I do not quite know how to start this conversation again.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did something happen to make you want to at all?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He thinks for a moment. “Nothing in particular. I guess I just figured, well. Plenty of people we meet and have met have asked about Veth and I. You are just the closest to us.” He shrugs a little. “I do not feel the </span>
  <em>
    <span>need</span>
  </em>
  <span> to, but we have come a long way in understanding each other and I feel that maybe this is one thing you still don’t quite get.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Beau laughs. “If I didn’t know you better I’d think you sounded kind of condescending right now.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mm, well, good thing you know me quite well then.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Unfortunately,” Beau says with a grin. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They lapse into comfortable quiet, sat side by side on one of the couches in the Xhorhaus lounge, enjoying a break from their respective studies for a moment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What I feel for Veth,” Caleb says eventually. “And what I </span>
  <em>
    <span>felt</span>
  </em>
  <span> for her too, at that time, though I don’t think I could admit it so freely then. The love I feel for her is the deepest there is,” he says, simply.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But,” he continues. “That isn’t all. The loyalty I have for her is also the deepest loyalty there is. And the feelings I have for her and about her are more than I thought I could feel for a very long time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“None of those things outweigh each other, the love, loyalty, or feelings.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He smiles then, tilting his head towards Beau. “I feel like that probably does not answer your question.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Beau sips the juice in her hand (a Caduceus recipe) and shrugs. “Yeah, I mean, I think I already knew most of that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess what I am trying to say is that no, I am not in love with her. I don’t think I ever will be. And while I have certainly been in love before and have felt… romantic feelings before, they are not comparable to all that I have for Veth. They were unique and special of course, but so is what I feel for her.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Beau nods. “I think I get that. So when you said we were on like, different frequencies or whatever--”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I meant that I had a feeling your perception on love was different than mine.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She nods again. “That makes sense.” She lays her head on the back of the couch. After a moment, she says, “Man, how many times have we just, had completely unproductive conversations ‘cause we don’t get each other?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb snorts. “We are very different people.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That conversation was </span>
  <em>
    <span>years</span>
  </em>
  <span> ago. Did it really take you that long to tell me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb pauses at that. He sets his drink on his lap, cups it with both hands. “Well, like I said. I don’t think I could’ve admitted the… depth of all that I hold for Veth so simply and freely back then. I don’t think I could’ve admitted I felt that much for anyone,” and Beau nods at that. He takes a drink. “And, again, it wasn’t that important.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Really?” Beau says, head still reclined back and one arm now on the back of the couch too. “How many times have I or someone else in the Nein just made some comment assuming you guys were romantic?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You all really didn’t do it all that much,” Caleb says. “It was mostly outsiders. And besides, it’s not like you all have to understand. Veth gets it, and I get it, and that’s all it really concerns.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Something seems to click in Beau’s mind at that, and Caleb smiles, hiding his grin a bit in his drink.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay,” Beau says, nodding. “Okay, yeah, yeah, I get it. I get that.” A moment passes. “Thanks for telling me though, anyway.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hm, we are very different people,” Caleb says again. “But I think, well. I like trying to understand you, and I think you are the same. I thought I’d make it easier.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A small smile comes across Beau’s lips. “Years of adventuring and almost dying and actual dying and having a fucking conversation is still the hardest part of knowing you guys.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Speak for yourself, I think it’s getting easier.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Eh,” Beau raises her glass as her face contorts. “Baby steps,” she concedes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb laughs. “Baby steps.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thanks for reading!! i'm on tumblr @modernvetherature! not super active though except for reblogging art</p></blockquote></div></div>
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